Have you ever self-helped yourself into craziness?
I think I almost did a few weeks back.
Obviously I was feeling a little crazy at the time so I can't be sure, but if I wasn't...I was oh so close my friends.
It was right around the time I started my 52 week happiness project.
I was excited about starting it and dove right in. Only I dove right into it and a few other self-help books. And I tried to start a workout routine. And I was determined to get out of this house every single day. And I was trying to change eating habits. And I was trying to keep the house more organized and straightened up from day to day. And I practically sent myself to Crazyville over it all!!
As I was packing my bags to go to that very place a friend of mine said hey...you need to read something fun...and so I did.
And THAT is where the turning point took place.
And guess what...I haven't read a self-help book since.
Now don't get me wrong...I love a good self-help book. But the trouble with me is that I start trying to do every single thing in it to be a better me along with every single thing I've ever read in every other self-help book that I've come across.
I think its all part of the perfectionist thing but I'm not sure. What do you think?
I've had thoughts about reading one here and there but almost as quickly as the thought of reading one comes the thought of another trip to Crazyville comes right behind it. And then a little shiver goes down my back and the thought is G-O-N-E...GONE after that.
However...my quest for more happiness has not ended. It's been a work in progress. I've just realized that I can't do everything all at once anymore. I think trying to do it all at once and have it done yesterday makes it harder to achieve because your so focused on doing the work that it just feels like work. And so you do more thinking it will help because you don't feel happy at all you just feel like your working. It's a vicious cycle I tell you...vicious.
So...I've forced myself out of the cycle and I'm doing it a lot more slowly. I've decided to go back to the basics. I'm trying to stop and smell the roses along the way. Keeping in mind that my number one job right now is being a good mommy to my little Q-Tip and a good wife to my Farmer Boy. And I think to be a good mommy and wife I need to be happy...but instead of looking for it in a self-help book I'm looking for it in basic everyday things.
I've also been working on letting some things go and focusing on the necessities only. And as I've felt better I can pick things back up but instead of worrying and stressing over things I just let it go. This has helped a lot but I have to say for me and my TYPE A loveliness it has not been easy but it's been beneficial.
When I've felt overwhelmed lately I've tried to remind myself that things won't always be like this.
We won't always live in Maryland far, far away from our family and oldest friends.
Q-Tip won't always be 2.
We won't always live in this house and I won't always have to travel between three floors to do the laundry.
We won't always have to let the dog out on a leash to do her business...we will have a yard again...someday.
We will have a garage and driveway again someday!
It will get easier eventually and we will survive until then.
Still on my quest...just not sprinting towards the goal anymore,
P.S. Will y'all remind me of this the next time I do the laundry and I'm cursing the very existence of this house? Thanks!
P.P.S. I'm going to start working on doing my daily gratitude list again. Pray for me y'all...please pray for me!